Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Reflective post....

9 years ago today, we bought our very first house!!! Finally, after 9 years, we have updated as much as we wanted to...inside and out. First we had to repour a foundation for our 2nd garage bay. We paved the driveway at the same time. Then we did the kitchen...a couple of years later, the bathroom. Our pool collapsed two years ago, so that was replaced. This past summer, the roof, windows, siding, and a new shed. The painter is finishing up today with the living room, dining room and bedrooms. I'm proud to call this place home!!

4 years ago today, I held my dad for the last time....I still "get mad" that I don't get to watch my dad experience his grandchildren. I think that is the part that will get me, for a LONG time.... Some tears are shed from time to time, but that is just selfish tears for ME, since I know my dad is in Heaven and looking down, but really, what does that do for ME and my kids. He really fought a brave fight and I have read and heard about several deaths in recent days that just gets me.....knowing what these families are going through.... Seeing various girls having to deal with the decline of their parents, memories of hospice......reading about spouses posting about the decline and death of their loves.... I know it's all "the circle of life", and a lot of us are in the same boat but that doesn't mean we have to enjoy it....

I try to remember my dad in a good light, but I did not get along with him at ALL in my teen years, but now, as a parent, I am starting to clash with my children more often as they get older, but my love for my little babies is still there, and I finally understand how my dad probably felt as MY parent. Dad, I know you are looking over us....... I love you and miss you....

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

(((Hugs))) I can't believe it's been 4 years. I'm sorry that the holidays have to be so bittersweet for you. I know what that's like... I lost my Dad 13 years ago, 3 days before Father's Day. It gets a little easier with each year that passes, but that holiday will never be the same for me.

(((Hugs))) Hang in there, sweetie. And e-mail me if you ever want to talk to someone about it.

1:35 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

It really doesn't seem like it's been four years. Big hugs to you and your family, Donna!

11:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow 4 years. He is watchign over you. Probably smiling to:) I am sure he knows how you feel!

10:59 AM  
Blogger WhitneykSN said...

Lots of hugs to you. I understand how hard it is, and God help me, after 2 years without my mother, the pain is still so fresh and raw, especially on holidays that are all about families and togetherness. Try to take comfort that your father is no longer in pain, and is able to watch over you and your kids now, as proud as can be.

10:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

((((Donna)))) You are often in my prayers, esp. in December.

6:10 PM  
Blogger DonnaLeigh said...

Hugs babe....I know how you feel all to well

9:36 PM  

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