What the hell is this shit???

Severe Weather Alert from the National Weather Service

...CARBON PA-LEHIGH PA-MONROE PA-MORRIS NJ-NORTHAMPTON PA-SUSSEX NJ-WARREN NJ-
...THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A WINTER STORM WARNING FOR MONDAY AND MONDAY EVENING FOR SIX TO TWELVE INCHES OF SNOW...

A WINTER STORM WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR MONDAY AND MONDAY EVENING FOR THE FOLLOWING COUNTIES IN PENNSYLVANIA...CARBON...LEHIGH...MONROE AND NORTHAMPTON. IN NEW JERSEY MORRIS...SUSSEX AND WARREN.

EIGHT TO TWELVE INCHES OF SNOW IS EXPECTED IN CARBON...MONROE AND SUSSEX COUNTIES AND SIX TO EIGHT INCHES OF SNOW IS EXPECTED IN LEHIGH...NORTHAMPTON...WARREN AND MORRIS COUNTIES. THE SNOW IS EXPECTED TO BE HEAVY AND WET AND COULD TEAR DOWN WEAK TREES...TREE LIMBS AND POWER LINES.

SNOW IS EXPECTED TO ARRIVE AROUND SUNRISE ON MONDAY AND BECOME HEAVY AT TIMES FROM LATE MORNING THROUGH THE AFTERNOON. WHILE THE MORNING...ESPECIALLY THE EARLY PART OF IT...COMMUTE MAY NOT BE BAD...THE EVENING ONE IS EXPECTED TO BE TREACHEROUS. THE PRECIPITATION INTENSITY IS EXPECTED TO BE HEAVY ENOUGH THAT IT WILL STICK TO ROADWAYS AS TEMPERATURES WILL BE CLOSE TO FREEZING. THE SNOW SHOULD TAPER OFF AND END DURING THE EVENING. A WINTER STORM WARNING IS ISSUED WHEN SEVERE WINTER WEATHER IS EXPECTED TO OCCUR. HEAVY SNOW IS FORECAST TO ACCUMULATE IN THE AFFECTED AREAS CAUSING HAZARDOUS DRIVING CONDITIONS. THOSE WITH TRAVEL PLANS IN THE WARNING AREA ARE ADVISED TO CHOOSE AN ALTERNATE ROUTE...OR SHOULD USE EXTREME CAUTION IF TRAVEL IS UNAVOIDABLE.STAY TUNED TO THE WEATHER CHANNEL AND WEATHER.COM FOR UPDATES....